Loose Ends
by UmbralTiger
Summary: An unexpected message from an unwelcome messenger. Garrus finds himself facing the reopening of multiple, unresolved issues from his past, as well as hard questions about his future, and Shepard.
1. Chapter 1

They sat together quietly in the confines of the shuttle. At one point Shepard set her fingers against the back of Garrus' hand in a controlled display of comfort and affection.

His eyes flickered down mechanically at the touch, but his thoughts were elsewhere. After a moment without a response from him she removed it again, choosing instead to stare out the window.

"I'll take care of this," Garrus intoned softly, cutting through the stony silence. "Just wait here with the shuttle for me."

Shepard continued to watch the light drizzle that pelted the craft. "You asked me to come along. I figured I might as well introduce myself. As your commanding officer," she added after a beat.

Garrus almost laughed bitterly. "That's...not a good idea. My father is a traditionalist to the core. He hates Spectres and he's not terribly fond of humans. Especially humans being put in charge of turians."

"So why even bother if it's not going to change anything?"

"Whatever he wants to say, I'll listen. Whatever he wants to ask, I'll tell him. But his mind is already made up."

The stifling silence again. His commander was an expert at nonverbal communication- she made a point of not saying anything if she disagreed with him, but knew she wouldn't change his mind.

"Shepard...the galaxy as we know it may be coming to an end. Each mission we take is closer to being our last. I may not be able to make him see things my way, but I don't have the luxury to care about that anymore. I'm going to try, but I don't have my hopes up."

His words hung in the air for a time as he pondered how real his desperation felt now that he'd expressed it. His commander finally lifted her voice again, just as the clouds parted and the horizon came into view.

"I'll leave that up to you, Garrus. Just remember that I'm behind you. You don't have to answer to him, or anyone else. Only yourself."

"....Thanks, Shepard."

Her words took him back to Omega, where this whole damn mess had gotten started….

_****One Week Ago****_

Garrus had become aware of his shadow not long after their arrival on Omega. He'd excused himself from Shepard and Tali, fabricating a story about his sudden need for a reputable arms dealer. Using his vast knowledge of Omega's lesser-known passages and a focus sharpened by an unsettled anger, he soon slamming an old friend against the wall and pressing a pistol to the base of his skull.

"You're making a habit of picking bad ideas, Sidonis," Garrus growled venomously.

"Garrus- wait!" Sidonis appealed fiercely, becoming rigid and still. He was smart enough at least to not struggle, to not give Garrus all the reason he needed to end him.

"Why the Hell did you follow me here? Do you have a death wish?" He pressed the barrel harder against his target's neck, his finger tightening against the trigger. Not enough to splatter the room with Sidonis's cranial tissues, as badly as he wanted to. Not yet. But Shepard wasn't here to stop him this time. She would never even know. And then Sidonis dropped the bomb.

"I went to C-Sec after you let me go. I wanted them to arrest me, to give me some way to...but they couldn't. But they sent out some notices, put me up in a cell for a few nights. And then your father showed up."

Garrus sneered. "You're lying. He's been in retirement for the past year. Try again. Or better yet- don't."

"I swear by the spirits," Sidonis was talking faster now. Talking for his life. "When C-Sec couldn't do anything they contacted him. He asked me about you, about what happened on Omega. I told him everything, and then he sent me to find you- he wants to talk to you, Garrus."

Garrus spun his former friend to face him, shoving him brusquely against the wall. The pistol didn't waver from its keen proximity to Sidonis's head.

"I never _once _spoke to him once on any number of visits he made to the Citadel. He never made any effort to seek me out. _Now _he wants to talk?"

"Please…I'm just passing the message," Sidonis insisted, using one hand to try to urge the weapon out of his face. "I even told him what I did to you and the crew. He's...concerned for you."

"And the old bastard made sure to send _you _so he would know if I just killed you instead, that son of a...." Garrus growled in frustration, slamming Sidonis into the wall again for emphasis.

"Look, neither of us wanted to have to cross paths again, all right? But...I owe him. He helped me understand some things. Gave me some good advice. He sent me after you so we could all get some closure. I think he still has your best interests at heart."

Garrus released Sidonis none too gently, and gestured with a jerk of his head. "Like Hell he does. You do what you have to do, but from now on stay far away from me."

He turned and started to stalk away, in a fouler mood than ever, when the other turian's voice called out from behind him.

"He also asked me some questions about you...and your human commander. Shepard."

Garrus' mandibles twitched edgily, and he turned, glaring at Sidonis with a cold pit in his stomach. "What _kind _of questions?"


	2. Chapter 2

_****Present Time****_

Garrus stared blankly out at the rural town his father had retired to. Shepard was shifting aimlessly behind him, giving him the space he hadn't asked for, but she somehow knew he needed, anyway. After several long minutes, he rubbed the back of his hand along his forehead in a gesture of futility.

"There's no way this isn't going to end badly," he groused. Shepard approached him, wordlessly setting a hand on his shoulder and squeezing slightly. He summoned a deep sigh.

"Can't we just go shoot up some merc bands, instead? That's always fun."

Shepard almost smiled. "This was your idea. You'll always regret it if you back out now."

He nodded reluctantly. "I just can't believe this. After all this time...I can face down hordes of Collectors, charge into the face of death with a gun and a smile...and I'm still not man enough to just face up to my own father. To just…tell him like it is."

"Yes, you are," she replied, lifting his face with her hand. "And I'll be here when you get back, and then we can go back to blowing things up and saving the galaxy."

He turned and, in a fairly unexpected move for the both of them, pulled her into a full embrace. She let him have take what time he needed, and offered an encouraging look as he pulled away.

"'Here goes nothing,' I think is the human saying."

He disappeared off down the road, leaving Shepard to wander about through the sparse, overwhelmingly turian crowd on the outskirts of the town. She got a handful of stares, but most seemed content to ignore her. She took some time to observe the locals, and was most amused watching the turian children darting about. Even turian childrens' playtime was proto-warfare, as they organized themselves into miniature 'strike groups' and ambushed one another until one was victorious. She watched them with intense interest, musing to herself about Garrus' own childhood and how it had shaped him. She knew in a way that her influence had shaped him even more, and why Garrus felt particularly responsible for the events on Omega. Something he would never voice, the feeling that he had tried to measure up to Shepard and failed. What she had tried to tell him, that trusting your teammates implicitly was not a weakness and that his team's death wasn't his failing, was hard for him to accept.

After a time Shepard interrupted from her thoughts by the sound someone approaching her. As she turned, she found that she recognized the distinctive pattern of blue facial markings, and her first thought was that Garrus was back already. But upon closer examination, she noticed signs of age. Worn, fractured plates, looser skin. The same intense expression, but with a kind of weariness behind it. She blinked back her surprise as she came to the realization of who this thirty-years-gone 'Garrus' was.

"Mr. Vakarian?" she ventured as he came to within twenty feet or so. The turian's sharp eyes softened a bit, the same way Garrus's did when he lost himself in thought.

"Commander Shepard," came a deep, rumbling reply. He didn't waste any time with prolonged introductions. "I was hoping to speak with you."

A frown knit her brow as his words hung in the air. "You already knew we were here."

"You're surprised? Spending a quarter of a century in C-Sec has its advantages, young human."

Shepard's eyes drifted down the road where Garrus had gone. When she returned her attention to Mr. Vakarian, he'd moved to within a few feet of her. Her eyes took in his features, noting how uncanny the resemblance was.

"Are you deliberately avoiding your son, or was it your plan from the beginning to get to me before he got to you?"

His mandibles twitched indignantly, and he spoke polite words with a tone that was haughty and acerbic. "I simply wished to have a conversation with my son's commanding officer. The human who apparently knows him better than I do."

Shepard folded her arms across her chest, choosing not to take the proffered bait. The older turian tilted his head forward at her, apparently acknowledging her restraint.

"You should know that I fought in what you humans call the First Contact War. Garrus was only a small child, then. I was able to learn much about humans and their culture, their military. I came to respect your people, after a time."

"But we're not here for some history lesson about your people and mine," Shepard asserted. She could almost swear that the elder Vakarian chuckled under his breath as he began to pace slowly.

"Aren't we? Fair enough. Then we can speak of how my son spent the last two years off of the radar. I did and do, however, still have contacts in many places. It took some time, but imagine my surprise upon figuring out that he was living under an assumed name, on Omega of all places. News reached me not long ago about a certain incident involving three merc bands uniting their forces to take him out. The report indicated they had been successful. In my mourning I went through every channel I could find, hoping for someone who could return his body home to me."

He stopped, staring intently at Shepard. "You can imagine my relief at learning he was alive and well. And my surprise that he was back under the command of the renowned Shepard, whose own death was the catalyst for the last contact I had with him."

This last part gave Shepard pause. She didn't expect Garrus, both as a turian and as the man she knew, to speak much of his personal issues. She never had heard to what extent the news of her death had affected her crew, him in particular. She leveled a stern gaze. "Why did he contact you then?"

He tilted his head upward a bit, his tone taking on an edge. "He always did need a little extra…guidance. You, for a time, had provided him with that. Without it, he was despondent. Lost. When he spoke to me I got the impression that he had also lost a dear friend in you. I was impressed with what he told me of your exploits together, of how, despite being a Spectre, you had led him along a good path. I suggested that, to honor your memory, he carry on where you left off."

It dawned on Shepard what he was getting at. "And then it turned out badly for him. Through no fault of his own."

"Indeed. Sidonis informed me well of that. He also spoke highly of your efforts to urge Garrus towards mercy, later," the turian turned away towards the city, his voice growing hushed and cool. "You seem to be a good influence on my son. For that I thank you."

Shepard shook her head, growing weary of the dissonance between what he was saying and what he was insinuating. "Get to the point. I don't need your backhanded compliments. You're dodging the real issue. If you have something to say, say it."

He leveled his eyes on her. They'd gone a bit colder. She'd seen the same in Garrus' eyes once or twice, usually when speaking of that which disgusted him most.

"I have become aware of some...disturbing rumors within the networks. I would remind you that he is turian. You are _human_."

Her arms folded tightly across her chest as she took a couple of steps forward. "You know, now that you mention it….I _thought _he looked kind of funny."

Mr. Vakarian was less than amused by her snarking as he squared off with her. "Your boldness aside, such a relationship cannot work, and you and I _know_ it. I seek only what's best for my son, and presently he walks a dangerous line."

"I see less concern here for Garrus and more for your own reputation. Getting some flak from having a son who consorts with a human, are you?"

The stony glare in his eyes hardened further. "If there are those who detract, they are right to do so. I do appreciate what you have done for him as his commander; for a you are the ideal of a leader and of your species. I am less appreciative for what you have done for Garrus in...other capacities."

"Skip to the part where that's any of your business." Her voice lowered, her eyes narrowed.

"Think on this. You may think that your...relationship might improve interactions between our people. But I will tell you now that it will only divide them further. Both our peoples are far more apt to be repulsed by the very idea, to become distracted by your deviance than to accept it. It will inevitably come to the point of damage being done to your credibility. You may even think that it will help Garrus in the long run. It won't. You need to end it now, before it becomes public knowledge. And believe me, it will."

She did give his statements pause for a moment, not having given much thought previously to the longer reaching effect this whole affair could have on the mission. It didn't take her long to mull it over. "We'll deal with that then. But Garrus is happy. He's also probably one of the most courageous, capable soldiers I've ever had the honor to serve with and a hero to the galaxy. I don't think anyone is going to forget that just because he's with someone outside of his race. I'm fairly certain that's just _you_."

"Too brash, human," he growled at her, his control over his innate prejudice slipping. "Thinking of your own personal desires instead of the good of the whole."

"You're a hypocrite, _turian_," she spat, but was interrupted as she noticed sudden movement in the corner of her eye. Garrus was coming in fast, driven by anger at having been undermined. She looked back to the elder Vakarian. "Your son came here for one last chance to fix things with you. It may be the last time the two of you see one another. I would suggest you _don't waste it_."


	3. Chapter 3

_****C-Sec; 2 Years Ago****_

"Message for you, Vakarian. Marked as 'Urgent'." Chellik sighed over the comm in his best 'can't be bothered' tone.

"Thanks. Send it over."

_Yes. A call for help. A ransom demand. Anything. Someone please get me the Hell away from this desk._ He activated the audio file that popped up on his display.

"This message is for Officer Vakarian," a strained but familiar voice echoed through his office. Dr. T'Soni? The two of them hadn't spoken over the last couple of months, but still it drew him in. He wasn't returning to the squad anytime soon, but the chance to help out, or even just pay a visit, was more appealing than he wanted to admit.

"Please enter the exact date of your reassignment to the Normandy."

Then he noticed that the message had been split into two parts, the second, longer part having been security encrypted. His fingers darted anxiously as he performed the required task. He defiantly ignored his intuition, the sudden ill pang that crept over him, and listened as the asari's voice returned.

"Officer Vakar...." There was a brief hesitation. "Garrus." Her voice became tense, shallow. "It is my duty to regretfully inform you that as of yesterday, the Normandy was lost in action over Alchera. Commander Shepard....did not make it. I am sorry."

Slowly, it began to sink deep into his gut. No. It was impossible. Who could possibly have-

"I am compelled to tell you that this information is classified as per the Alliance's request. However, a few of us will be having a private memorial on-"

He switched it off. _No_. Slammed his fist in a rare instance of physically lashing out. _No!_

A handful of destroyed electronics later, Garrus sank back into his chair, mind reeling. He pressed his forehead into his hand, trying to regain control of himself as someone outside called through the door about the commotion.

_Not Shepard._

As Liara had said, there was no news bulletin. No announcement from the human Councilor. It was as though nothing had happened. No one else would acknowledge the hole that had just been blown through him.

When he applied for leave, Chellick didn't ask any questions. Did he know? Not that it mattered- he wasn't going to say if he did. If news of Shepard's death were to be leaked, it wouldn't be by a turian.

His father was surprised to see him, maybe a little pleased that Garrus had come at a time like this, feeling as low as he ever had. He didn't realize- it wasn't like that. It wasn't that he felt like he could go to his father for reassurance and advice. It was simply that, now, Garrus didn't have anyone else.

****Present Time****

Shepard met Garrus' eyes as he came within range. Her expression told him nothing about what his father had been telling her. Or asking of her. In the end it didn't matter; he trusted Shepard. He couldn't say as much for the old turian who had misled him, outright deceived him, for his own ends.

His commander stepped away, intuitively giving the two of them space. Garrus' hands clenched, his mouth opening slightly in preparation to spit out malicious rant. But...no. He still owed his father respect enough not to cause a scene. More than that, he was determined to show his maturity, his overcoming fo his father's shadow. He cast a glance at Shepard and slowed his mind. He formed his thoughts carefully and reconnected with his father's eyes.

"You had no right," Garrus growled. "You called me here. This was between _us_."

"I also wanted to speak with your commanding officer, in order to gather some outside insight. I wish I could say I was surprised that you brought her along to begin with."

The elder vakarian shot a look at Shepard, who remained quiet. "It is good to see you again, Garrus. My joy is immeasurable that you are still counted among the living."

Garrus hesitated. There was no guile or mockery in his father's voice, but it did nothing to assuage the anger. "Join the club."

"Join the _what_?"

"It's a human...never mind. Listen, I came here to talk, but now I only want this to be over. I want to agree to disagree and for both of us to go on with our lives, however much of them we have left."

"I see you've come to share your commander's fatalistic attitude."

"_Don't _you bring her into this." Garrus's mandibles flared as he thrust a finger towards his father's face and snarled. "This is _you _and _me_. Whatever's coming, is coming. If I can't convince you to put this...this conflict behind us, then I'm done here."

The elder Vakarian considered this, taking in his son's aggravated display. "I...agree. You are capable by now of your own decisions, and I will abide your autonomy."

Garrus was a bit taken aback, and suspicious. "You…you will?"

"Please don't suppose that my impositions on you were born from anything but my belief in what was best for you. There is a small darkness in you, Garrus. A hatred for injustice that goes beyond morality. I made the choice to do what I could to correct it."

Garrus looked away, forcing out a deep breath. "Is that what you think? Hell, _father_, I learned it from you. The only difference between us is how we deal with it."

There was a heavy silence as the sun began to lower over the horizon. "My son. I know at least part of this is how our past weighs heavy on you. Your mother-"

"No. That's off-limits," Garrus shot a look in Shepard's direction. She was faced respectfully away at this point, but still within earshot. "That's over and done. I dealt with it."

"Apparently not. You still separate yourself from others. You suppose that you know better than your superiors when their orders force restraint on you. You maim and kill out of vengeance rather than coping with the tribulations within yourself."

"Oh, you've given this a lot of thought, haven't you?" Garrus snapped bitterly. "You perceive all of these of shortcomings in me, but don't stop to think that maybe it's just part of who I am. And you know what I finally realized? You don't have to like it. I don't need your approval anymore. Or your _'help'_."

His sire's eyes hardened. His head tilted off to the side, as though he were analyzing his offspring. "You are more like a human and less like a turian each time I see you."

Garrus snorted at the veiled insult. "If I am, it's because the humans I've known have been far more accepting of who I am than you ever were."

"Humans, plural? I think you mean the one in particular." He added a nod in Shepard's direction for emphasis.

Garrus' mouth opened again, this time baring more of his teeth, expressing his steadily increasing ire. "I told you to leave Shepard out of this."

"_She _is the crux of this problem. Whatever good she encouraged in you, I can see has been accompanied by reckless obstinacy, and a disdain for your own people. Without her, you could still be-"

"Without her, I wouldn't be alive, and you must know that. Shepard's responsible for getting what was left of me off Omega, _father_, so if you're so happy I survived, you need to stop airing your poorly suppressed contempt for humanity and just accept that maybe you're _wrong_!"

Garrus' heart pounded heavily in his torso. He'd never before come to yelling outright at his sire. Such a thing, such disrespect, was strongly looked down upon among turians, considered base and juvenile. He fully expected a retaliation, perhaps even violence. If his father were to strike him, he was ready to take it, to accept his dishonor. Instead, to his shock and bemusement, a thoughtful resignation seemed to wash over his father's countenance. Suddenly the old warrior's age began to show, his posture sagging slightly and his arms dropping to his sides. His voice was softer.

"I only...I am like any father, Garrus. I want what is best for my son, my only progeny. And perhaps that does taint my perceptions. I only wished that you would understand."

"I do. Better than you think." Garrus cautiously moved forward, closing the distance between them. He bowed his head forward, eyes closed. After a moment, he felt the lightest, briefest contact of his father's forehead against his. When he opened his eyes again, his sire was already making his way back down the road.

The sun had just touched down on the horizon when Garrus became aware of Shepard leaning against the shuttle next to him. She offered a small sigh and they watched the sky for a few minutes together.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Don't be offended, Shepard, but not really."

Shepard dug her heel into the dirt absently. "He did have some good points about humans and turians."

"What points are those?" Garrus inquired wryly. Shepard's brow furrowed.

"It's not going to be easy, for one thing. I don't like it, but we're going to have to keep it mostly to ourselves."

"I'm definitely good with that. And since _when _is anything we do 'easy'?"

Shepard actually grinned wide enough that her teeth showed. Garrus turned his head to study her. Human faces were so expressive, and this was one he hadn't seen on her often. It faded quickly.

"We'll always have to cook separate meals. Being intimate will be risky." She bit her bottom lip a little, thinking about the young turians she'd watched earlier. "We can't have kids."

"Things will work out. Though you're assuming I had some great interest in raising children in the first place."

Shepard smirked at him. That signature look, but always with a little warmth in it, just for him. "You're not going to be talked out of this, are you?"

"What can I say, Shepard. You'll just have to do better than that."

**AN: Thanks to everyone for reading/reviewing. =^_^= You folks are awesome.**


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